Same-Sex and Cross-Sex Friendships

Same-Sex and Cross-Sex Friendships Friends. How many of us have them? Friends. Ones that we can depend on. This question about friendships was asked in the 1984 song Friends by Whodini. Humans have the need for social interaction and one of the ways that human beings fill this need is by forming friendships. From an early age, we form bonds with our peers. Initially these bonds start as surface friendships in childhood and as people grow older, the friendships they have take on a more profound meaning. Many different kinds of friendships can be found depicted in the media. From television shows like Friends, Girlfriends, and Seinfeld to movies that depict the ups and downs of friendships. People typically have more same-sex than cross-sex friendships (Booth Hess 1974; Ross, 1985). In this paper, I will discuss the differences and similarities of female-female and male-male friendships and use examples from two movies to show how the values and characteristics of these friendships differ and are alike. I will also be discussing cross-sex friendships (CSFs). There hasnt been as much research or theory on cross-sex friendships because for a long time, theorists and researchers viewed cross-sex friendships as potential romantic relationships (Bleske-Recheck Buss, 2001). This view has changed and there is now emerging research and study of difficulties and advantage of having and maintaining cross-sex friendships. I will also be discussing a movie that demonstrates the positive and negative features of cross-sex friendships. Male-Male Friendships Although there has been a rising popularity of depicting bromances (a term used to describe close male friendships) in the media, Traustadottir found that research has found that males have significantly fewer friends than women, especially close friendships or best friends. (2008 p.1) There are three main barriers that have been attributed to the lack of close friendships in men; competition between men, traditional masculine stereotypes about real men, and fear of homosexuality (Fasteau, 1991; McGill, 1985; Miller, 1983). The movie The Wood, is about three male friends from Inglewood, California who have grown apart and reunite back in their hometown during one of their weddings. The movie shows present-day and also flashback scenes to their childhood to show how their friendship developed. One of the flash-back scenes gives an example of the three barriers attributed to lack of closeness. The three main characters; Mike, Roland, and Slim in a pizza parlor discussing how their luck with the women is going during their junior year of high school. All three are talking about their frustration at still being virgins as sophomores (traditional masculine stereotypes), they begin to argue about who will lose their virginity first (fear of homosexuality) and decide to make it a competition by making a pot. Every week, they add a dollar to the pot and whoever loses their virginity first will receive the money (competition). Male friendships tend to emphasize activities and companionship and expressions of closeness felt between friends comes in the form of friendly teasing. Although male friendships are formed and maintained in ways that differ from female friendships, there are still some similarities that can be seen. Male friendships provide a release of stress and reduce depression in the same manner that women friendships do. Female-Female Friendships The differences in female friendships and male friendships is not in what is strived for in their close relationships i.e. intimacy, empathy, and trust; but in the means in which their friendship goals are accomplished. Women are naturally more apt to show emotions and this translates into the friendships they form as well. Traustadottir (2009) examination of female friendships found: Women typically describe their friendships in terms of closeness and emotional attachment. What characterizes friendships between women is the willingness to share important feelings, thoughts, experiences, and support. Women devote a good deal of time and intensity of involvement to friends. (p.1) Women are more open with affection and more likely to sincerely complimenting each other. While men use communication to accomplish things, communication is seen as a way to build and maintain intimacy and closeness in female friendships. This is why women are more likely to discuss personal thoughts, feelings, and problems with their friends (Greif 2009). In a survey done by Greif (2009) 71% of women stated that being understood (communication, sharing, caring, not being judged, and receiving feedback) to describe what friendship means. Only 51% of men surveyed answered the same. Demonstrating friendships with concrete acts (example. helping move, giving loan) was a choice that men responded to in the survey was not shown on the womens responses. In the movie, Waiting To Exhale, it depicts four female friends providing support and advice to each other through their dealing with men, families, and careers. This movie shows how female relationships are built on communication and emotional intimacy. Cross-Sex Friendships Because male and female same-sex friendships have different characteristic, it has been speculated that men and women cannot become and maintain strictly platonic friendships. Although much more difficult, successful cross-sex relationships are possible. There are at least four unique challenges facing individuals in cross-sex relationships: defining the relationship, managing sexual attraction, establishing equality, and managing interference of others (OMeara, 1989). The movie Brown Sugar is the story of two friends Dre and Sidney that met as children and have maintained their cross-sex friendship throughout their adulthood. In the movie, Dre starts dating a woman and they become engaged. This sparks questions and thoughts about Sidney and Dres own friendship and if there was any romantic feelings between them. One scene in the movie after Dre has become engaged, shows Sidney prepping and beautifying herself when Dre calls to say hes coming to visit. As she looks at herself in the mirror and fixes her hair and make-up, she pauses and asks herself What am I doing? Its just him. This scene shows how managing sexual attraction and clearly defining the relationship are concerns that come up even in long-term cross-sex friendships. Although difficult, there are benefits from cross-sex friendships that cannot be seen in same-sex friendships. Those benefits include, an increase of the understanding about beliefs and values of the other sex (Canary, Emmers-Sommers, Faulkner, 1997), verifying out attractiveness to the other sex (Rubin, 1985), protection, short-term sexual opportunities, self-expression, and intimacy (Bleske-Rechek and Buss 2000). Conclusion Developing and maintaining friendships is key in developing interpersonal skills. Although some friendships may be more easy to maintain than others, there are benefits to all types friendships and they are attainable if the parties involved value the relationship enough to put in the hard work and effort. References Alison P. LentonLaura Webber. (2006). Cross-sex Friendships: Who has More? Sex Roles, 54(11-12), 809-820. Retrieved April 12, 2010, from Psychology Module. (Document ID: 1175830101). Diane H Felmlee. (1999). Social norms in same- and cross-gender friendships. Social Psychology Quarterly, 62(1), 53-67. Retrieved April 12, 2010, from Research Library Core. (Document ID: 40396565). Greif, G. L. (2009). Buddy system: understanding  male friendships. New york: Oxford Universtiy Press. Matthijs Kalmijn. (2002). Sex Segregation of Friendship Networks. Individual and Structural Determinants of Having Cross-Sex Friends. European Sociological Review, 18(1), 101. Retrieved April 12, 2010, from Social Science Module. (Document ID: 323673221). Traustadottir, R. (2008, April). Gender patterns in friendships. Retrieved from http://thechp.syr.edu/genpat.htm

‘Poetry Teaches Us About Life and the World Around Us

‘Poetry teaches us about life and the world around us. ’ The two poems â€Å"Martin and the Hand Grenade† by John Foulcher and â€Å"Beach Burial† by Kenneth Slessor both discuss different aspects of war and war times teaching us about life and the world around us. â€Å"Martin and the hand grenade† explores the notion that man has a violet streak which can lead to destruction, Foulcher depicts many aspects of war such as the mental impacts as well as some physical impacts and aspects of the grenade. Emphasising the difference in how adults and children interpret warfare. Beach Burial† is a recording of the poet’s grief for the sailors who died on a great land and sea battle in the North African campaign during WWII. On another level, it records the battle that we all fight, regardless of race or political or religious conviction, joined in the common front of humanity against death. The poem â€Å"Martin and the Hand Grenade â€Å"is based on a personal experience that Foulcher had while teaching at a boys school in one of his history lessons, portraying the idea that adults and children have a different view of war and violence. Foulcher creates a vivid image of the incident in our minds and allows us to picture ourselves observing the hand grenade through the metaphor â€Å"With his father's bleak skill, Martin edges out the firing pin†. Martin’s father is specifically referred to as having â€Å"bleak skill† that had once taught him how to operate the grenade. Foulcher used this adjective as an effective way of conveying his own attitude to war and violence, describing his own knowledge as â€Å"bleak† proving his negative attitude to the violence and destruction the Grenade causes. As Martin displays the grenade, the class â€Å"pause for history† symbolically showing how children’s understanding and interest in the war and many other aspects of the world around us can be enhanced through physically seeing or holding an artefact in their hands. The students ask questions, Martin metaphorically states, â€Å"No-it had limited, power: ten yards, then the spread, became too loose to catch a man's mortality†, illustrating the capability of grenades and the violent fatalities caused by wars. Likewise â€Å"Beach Burial† by Kenneth Slessor, depict aspects of war but this time of the more graphical and visual realities. A horrify image is created through personification â€Å"The convoys of dead sailors come; At night they sway and wander in the waters far under† enabling the reader to emphasis with the soldiers that died at war. As poetry allows us to develop greater insights and learn about the world around us, â€Å"Beach Burial† effectively portrays the real and actual happenings of war or the aftermath of war. To pluck them from the shallows and bury them in burrows, Someone, has time for this it seems†, metaphorically represents how a person, out of a mark of respect is burying the dead bodies. Emotively language further allows the reader to learn about the world and empathise with those who experienced the war, â€Å"And each cross, the driven stake of tidewood, Bears the last signature of men†. â€Å"Martin and the Hand Grenadeâ⠂¬  focuses more on the grenade and ‘painting a picture’ of the grenade and the class, allowing the reader to interpret the poem and visualise aspects related to the war and the world in general. Whereas â€Å"Beach Burial† focuses on not only the happenings of war, but on embedding a very strong image of war in the readers mind, allowing them to understand and feel the sadness intended by the poem. As both poems have a different way of conveying war, they still teach the reader about life and help them understand the world they are living in. â€Å"Beach Burial† depicts many visual aspects of the war, unlike â€Å"Martin and the Hand Grenade† which focuses on how Australian life has been influenced greatly; mentally, emotionally and physically by several aspects of the war.

Review of Planet of the Apes Essay - 635 Words

Review of Planet of the Apes by Tim Burton This essay will examine Tim Burtons remake of the science-fiction film Planet of the Apes. Planet of the Apes is the story of astronaut Leo Davidson, who in an attempt to save his chimp is transported through time. Leo crashes in a futuristic time; a planet ruled by apes, where humans are enslaved. Leo is captured, with a tribe, from the slave owners shop he is bought by a kind chimp, who believes in humans and apes living in peace. With the help of her; Clara, and her other human slaves, a plan is devised to escape. They do so, and far from the city are greeted by thousands of humans who believe Leo is of great importance. But with the ape†¦show more content†¦This setting creates tension as it suggests both good and evil and the effects of each. It signifies the idea of how all good things twist to them has and things are not always what they seem. The production used in the scene of the murder of the two soldiers by their leader in the swamp land creates tension. To begin the scene an establishing shot of the 3 apes with the town in the background is used, this suggests it is not of public knowledge and is of importance. Close-ups of the ape general are used to show his dominance, as well as wit and cunning ability. A mid-shot, in a low angle position is used to show the area destroyed by Leos shuttle, during this shot a tilt and zoom in is used to maximise the effect and the tension created. This shot also shows power, as well as the relevance of what is being viewed. Before the general murders the 2 ape soldiers a long shot of the 3 apes is used, where the general is walking towards the camera, this signifies the generals importance and that he is creating a plan, the fact that the 2 soldiers backs are turned suggests they are completely blind to the generals mid-reparation. 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Argumentative Essay Drive Out Prejudices From The Door...

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